I'm a little early off but, I want to get this going.
2008 had it's really fun and awesome moments but I have to be frank, this year was horrible!
O8 has gained the title " Worst Year Ever" in my mind and life. This was the highest level of frustration I've had. As I type this post I'm filled with sadness and my hope is draining from with in me. So much Humiliation and feeling trapped this year. Amongst the good news of becoming an Art Director for a Christian Film Ministry, A new Urban Artist Crew, Caricaturing parties, being on a live gospel CD, meeting amazing musicians, paying off my car and making new friends this year, this year had too much negative stuff filling the in betweens. I've fallen into the credit trap, got laid off, fired, my Mom's Cancer returned, and really learned what being poor is. All this one year after I graduate college. My goodness my degree really feels like a joke right now. Why can't I get a job in my field!? It's been a struggle to practice anything when you continually get rejections. Aarrg! I'm really tired of my life. It seems like no matter what I do nothing gets better. Everything feels meaning less. I can't help but ask why?! Why can't get a job? Why can't I be happy? Why can't I leave Vallejo? Why can't I be positive? Why can't I see myself better? Why can't I come to terms with my race? Why can't I find and experience the change that I've dreamt about since I was young?! I'm so tired of saying I screwed up and so tired of being humiliated. Maybe I shouldn't have high hopes. Maybe I'll never be more than a letdown ....
I guess that's what I'll forever be.....
As of January 2009 I'm going to be updating the branding to this blog and all my other
social/business networking pages. Studiorisingstar will still be my biz/studio name but this blog in particular will go through a name change and change of style. It will be a new year and I want to try to takes steps toward real change. I'm going to need Jesus' help for it though. Merry Christmas to everyone but the way things are right now I'm just not into the season. I want a Positive Change in my life so much..... see you all next year.
-Brandon "SRS" Robinson